From the recording Family Portraits (Volume IV)
Hilariously, my wife Juliet has the somewhat eccentric habit of pretending King Henry VIII is in the car with her when she drives around our native North London. In her imagination, she explains to King Henry all the trappings of modernity. This song is about that. A brass-driven fantasy about driving a time-traveling King Henry VIII and his six wives through modern day London. The "beep yeah!" refrain in the coda is a nod to the Beatles' 1965 classic "Drive My Car".
Lyrics
Royal Drive
Waited an age and Moore for
My king to show
In a Renault Clio
But
He was right on time
For the ride and drive of his life
He said:
“Where is the horse for this wagon?”
Offered me a swig from his flaggon
I declined
On account of the drink driving
On a Royal Drive
With Henry the VIII
And all of his wives
Singing “Greensleeves”
Yeah!
As loud as we can
Zipping up the motorway
To survey all his lands
Drove him around the South Circular
From Hampton Court as far as Windsor
To take in the sights
He said:
“Tomorrow we go by motorbike”
I really like my station wagon
Henry prefers a people carrier
Enough space
For his royal highness and his entourage
On a Royal Drive
With Henry the VIII
And all his wives
Singing “Greensleeves”
Yay!
As loud as we can
Zipping up the motorway
To survey all his lands
I am optimistic about
Henry
Passing his test
Comprehending
The traffic system, yeah!
Red, amber, green and
Go!
On a Royal Drive
Take me King Henry
And all your wives
We’ll sing “Greensleeves” Yay!
As loud as we can
Zipping up the motorway
To survey all your lands
Beep, beep, yeah!
Beep, beep, yeah!
Beep, beep, yeah!
Beep, beep, yeah!